Ahh, our little darlings. Our tweens. Let’s sit for a moment, with a cup of tea, and remember the days when they brought nothing but joy to our lives. Remember just last autumn, as you strolled through the woods, collecting a million conkers or lazy weekend mornings larking around in bed. Oh, those were the days. The pre tween-trauma days. Sigh.

What’s a tween? Allow me to clarify. You’ll have seen the species slouching around school gates, with masterfully untucked school shirts, makeup unmatched to skin tone, and smartphone arm extensions. They are an animal unlike any other. Their indecisiveness rivalled by none. Bewildering, and difficult to anticipate, the tween must always be approached with caution.

Parents who have lived out these days, I salute you. Those who have it to come, I wish you well. Those who are on the journey with me, let’s tackle this head on. Here are five common challenges that each and every pre-teen owner mum, must face. United, we stand.

5 ways the tween years test every mother

1. Mum who?

We’ll keep this short and sweet. If you’re a dad, you’re likely not cool. If you’re a mum, you’re definitely not cool. Yes, you gave birth to them. No, it doesn’t matter. Your days are done. Step aside, you’re officially old and you know nothing

2. Independence day

…weeks, years! Will it ever end?! They’ve found their voice and they’re running with it. They say ‘no’. Why? For no other reason than, Just. Because. They. Can. Family days out are now a bore, dinner conversations obsolete. The bedroom is the place to be. Be prepared for ever changing looks and styles from their clothes to the decor. One minute they want plush comfortable carpet, the next it is laminate flooring so its fine if they spill their make up on it, This is the time when our little people become their own person. They develop opinions, test ground, and rebel to settle into their own personality. And oh boy, that does NOT involve the parents.

3. The intrigue of the unknown

It’s time to let go a little bit. Allow some freedom. You know it’s right, but to pre-teens, freedom is addictive. It’s the Walker’s Chicken and Thyme Sensations of the tween world. Once they get a taste of it, they want it all. For mums, that’s pretty terrifying. Letting go is one thing, but finding the balance is another. After all, what tween likes to hear ‘no’? Especially when it means being kept nothing short of captive in their own double-glazed, semi-detached home, with central heating and every gadget and gizmo you can imagine. Captive, I tell you.

4. Identity crisis, or should that be crises

As your little person comes into their own, image is everything. And for someone who’s always had their clothes selected, their shoes shined, and their hair styled for them, figuring out their own look is quite the challenge. Get ready for serial switch-ups across tonnes of trends.

5. Hormone hell

The pre-teen years are hormone hell for tweens and parents alike. Sure, they probably have a rougher time of it than you, overall. Still, get ready for one almighty adolescent adventure. Just watch out for those swinging moods. Duck, dive, do what you need to do. That’s not all though, being a mum means being there when the dust settles and your tween needs your support. Take those hits on the chin.

And once it is over, we have the teenage years to look forward to. I can't wait!

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