Category: Views & Ramblings

1. Top tips for gardening with a toddler : Country Kids

   Posted on 8:46pm Saturday 23rd May 2015

   The start of the hayfever season has not been particularly kind to the toddler but she loves being outside and you don't need a big garden for them to enjoy getting involved, so here are our top tips for gardening with a toddler (even one with asthma).

   Tiny Tools

   Use child size tools, or in our case when we were scooping compost we simply used plastic cups. Using tools that that are safe and manageable for their little hands will totally enhance their experience. Plus, they are super cute and come in bright colours, which are much more exciting than grown up tools!

   

   Let Them Get Dirty

   I have spent what seems like forever trying to keep my girls clean but even the most immaculate child LOVES getting filthy. Let them put their fingers in the dirt and enjoy feeling the soil in their hands (note to self : just try not to squeal if they come across a worm!)

   

   Let Them Pick Their Own Flowers

   We took the toddler to the garden centre with us and (maybe foolishly), let her pick her own flowers. It seems that we will have extremely pink hanging baskets this year but it meant that she was very excited to plant them.

   

   Grow Their Favourite Fruit or Vegetables

   Most children love the sweetness and crunch of carrots, or strawberries and even tomatoes and they are not too difficult to grow be sure to plant a couple of things that your little one loves, as they will take great pleasure in eating their home grown fruit and veg. 

   Hunt For Mini Beasts

   Go on a hunt for minibeasts (e.g. snails, worms and insects) and explain how bugs and creepy-crawlies are good for the soil and plant. It is good to encourage them to hold these creatures gently and carefully so that they can see what minibeasts look like.

   Water & Watch Them Grow

   Plants (like children) need regular watering, so each day it is good to get them used to taking care of their plants and watching them grow. (Just don't let them eat anything until it is ripe .... that remains a regular challenge in our house!) 

   

    

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2. 10 things you need to know about periods when you are ten.

   Posted on 11:46am Thursday 21st May 2015

   My eldest daughter came home from school a week or so ago and casually dropped into conversation that the nurse had been in to see them and was talking about periods. Once I had got over the initial shock, I realised that she is 10 years old and I can ignore it as much as I like but she is growing up and I have to do my best to support her, nuture her and answer her questions as honestly as I can. So between us we came up with the top 10 things she wanted to know.

   

   1. Will it hurt?

   You might find you get a dull ache for the first day or so. It can be uncomfortable but it soon passes.

   2. Will I get one every month?

   Once your monthly cycle gets into a routine, you will get a period around every 28 days. In the first few months it is likely that they will be a little less regular but it will eventually even out and you are more aware of your body.

   3. Does every girl get them?

   Every girl that goes through puberty will get a period. You might find some girls "bragging" about it but in the end, it is something all women go through when their body is ready. Most girls get their first period between 11-14 years old, you could start your period anywhere from 8-17 years old.

   4. What happens if my period comes when I am at school?

   If your body is changing, it maybe good to keep some tampons or pantiliners discreetly in her bag in case you get your first period while you are not at home. You may even want to keep an extra pair of underwear in her book bag. This will be one of those tips you will appreciate when your period does arrive unexpectantly.

   

   5. Can I still do P.E or swimming when I am on my period?

   Yes, as long as you use a tampon, something like the Tampax Compak Pearl is good as they expand width-wise to eliminate the gaps that can cause leaks, and any embarresment. The packaging is pretty cool too! Tampons will also allow you to swim during your period, so nothing is out of bounds! If you are uncomfortable then you can get some simple pain relief, although I always think that a hot water bottle is the first port of call.

   6. Will I get my period at the same time as my friends?

   No, all girls are different and it is not a race to get yours first. Everyones bodies are different. Celebrate yours for today.

   7. Do I have to have time off school?

   Not unless you are in real discomfort should you need time off school (Sorry!!)

   8. Will anyone else know I am on my period?

   You may be a little tired and grumpy and possibly your skin might have an outbreak of spots but this is typical of most tweens and teens so unless you tell people, there is no reason for anyone else to know.

   9. How long will it last?

   A normal period should be between three and five days, sometimes as long as a week but you will get used to your own body as the months go on.

   10. Will I have them forever?

   The menopause, sometimes referred to as the "change of life", is the end of menstruation. This is where a woman's ovaries stop producing an egg every four weeks. She no longer has monthly periods and is unlikely to get pregnant. In the UK, 51 is the average age for a woman to reach the menopause, although some women can experience the menopause in their 30s or 40s.

   

   Things to Look Out For

   Mums can answer most questions but you should seek medical advice if you:

   • Are 16 and haven’t gotten your period yet.
   • Get periods that last longer than seven days for three cycles.
   • Experience a dramatic change from your typical periods.
   • Miss your period for six months straight.
   • Are passing large clots.
   • Are soaking through your tampon or pad hourly for two or more hours.
   • Are bleeding between menstrual periods.
   • Have pelvic pain for longer than a day that seems unrelated to your period.

   There is a lot of information on the internet, so sometimes you can feel a little frazzled by it all but we are pleased to be able to share some great content from Dr Radha Modgil for you: 

   Mum’s Period Questions Answered by Dr Radha Modgil

    

   “Puberty can be a scary time for your daughter, but it can be a stressful time for mum as well! You’re watching your little girl grow up and you want to be there to support and guide her and most importantly to answer any of her questions. To help you feel empowered with all the information you need to reassure her at this confusing time, I’ve pulled together some answers to some of those big questions that you and your daughter might have.”

    

    

   1.       When is the best time to talk to my daughter about periods?

   It’s a great idea to split up this conversation into little chunks over time rather than having ‘the big chat,’ which can make some girls feel uncomfortable. Periods tend to start about 2.5 years after breast development begins and 1 year after their growth spurt. These signs can be useful in knowing roughly when you should start to think about talking to them about periods so that they are ready. This time will vary from person to person. The average age to start your period is 12 years old, but it can vary from 8 to 16 years old, so the best advice is to know your daughter as an individual. The really important thing is to let her know you are there and easy to chat to, without judgement or worry.

    

   2.       How would you recommend I bring up the topic with her? Do you have any tips for parents who feel embarrassed about broaching the topic with their daughters?

   It is understandable that some parents feel worried about how or when to talk to their daughter. Remember why you want to talk to her. You want her to be prepared so she isn’t confused or scared, and doesn’t feel alone. This should help you in getting over any worries or embarrassment. If you feel embarrassed she is likely to feel the same, or worse! Get yourself some information that you can share with her to help the chat, you could use this Puberty Education Booklet for Girls [link], or a website. Pick a quiet time when you are alone and approach the subject sensitively. Tell her that you want to chat, even though she might feel embarrassed because you care and you want to empower her.  Offer the option of talking things through or give her the choice of reading the leaflet in private if she feels more comfortable - and respect her decision. Put the offer to her of you buying her some pads to have in case she needs them. Leave it with her and check back with her in a few days. The most important thing is to let her know that you are always there for her to chat to no matter what it is about.

    

   3.       What will happen when she gets her first period?

   She may get breast tenderness just before she starts her period and get slightly more emotional. When her period starts she may feel some lower tummy cramps. Emotionally she may feel confused, shocked and vulnerable. It is really important to support her at this time. Give her emotional support and explain what these changes are and that they’re something to celebrate and not be afraid of.  Make sure you give her some pads and help her with how to use them, and talk about tampons as another option for the future. Make a date to take her out and do something nice together.

    

    

   4.       How long will it take before her periods become regular?

   This can vary but normally periods do become regular about a year or just over a year after she starts. If they continue to be irregular after this, or are very irregular, then it is a good idea to see her GP.

    

   5.       Will she experience PMS when she starts her period?

   She may do. It is difficult to know who will be affected by the changes in hormone levels, by how much or when. It is great to let her know about possible PMS symptoms and that she can help herself by exercising, eating well, sleeping well and dealing with stress in a healthy way. Let her know you understand and that if she ever feels emotional, sad or anxious you are there for her. If the symptoms become too much, then you can go with her to see the GP, who can help.

    

   There are some other great online resources, try this one here which is specifically written for Teen and Pre-Teen girls https://issuu.com/tampax/docs/q_a_teens_questions 

    

    

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3. What age is too old for a birthday party? Birthday party guide for all ages.

   Posted on 10:38am Monday 11th May 2015

   Anyone that knows me knows that I love a party and having two girls means even more reasons to celebrate throughout the year but what age is too old to to have a birthday party?

   Well that got me thinking about how different parties can be at every age and having lived through a few of them, here is our birthday party guide for all ages ....

   Age 1 - Let's be honest, the first birthday party is really a celebration of the anniversary of you becoming a parent. A one-year-old may enjoy being the centre of attention but she will have no idea of what a party is. We chose to have the girls first birthday's in a function room with sensory toys for the little ones (and a bar for the adults!). Everyone happy!

   Age 2 - Despite their reputation, two-year-olds aren't always terrible, so a party for this age group can be great fun. A toddler has no expectations, so there is little point wasting time and money on  an extravagant affair. A teddy bears picnic in the park ( or the back garden ) is ideal for this age.

   

   Age 3 - It's not until they hit three that children begin to really understand parties. Children very often go to nursery or playgroups at this age, so have a small circle of friends that they play with, so soft play is frequently the destination of choice at age 3 as it gives them chance to run around without restrictions (but don't forget the cakes)

   

   Age 4 - For some reason, parties seem to step up a notch by the time children are four. Many children have established friendship groups at nursery and there appears to be a little competition in the quality of the party, so an entertainer is a good idea. It is at this age that children also seem to become acutely aware that they get a party bag at the end of a party. This is usually filled with all sorts of goodies from balloons, sweets and small plastic toys!

   

   Age 5 - Having started school, your little ones social circle will have expanded again and for the first couple of years at school you may find a constant merry go round of children's parties so trying to find something "different" can be a challenge. A farm party is always good for this age as they love discovering, feeding the animals (not forgetting getting muddy) and you can have larger numbers here too, without significant expense.

   Age 6 - A disco party is a favourite at this age. Children will especially enjoy this if it's hosted in the early evening rather than the afternoon. Make sure you have plenty of space for dancing if you are not holding it in a village hall. Six is a great age for throwing a birthday party, as children can play without too much supervision and they love the idea of entertaining their friends.

   Age 7, 8, 9 - Sleepovers and cinema trips are the usual party of choice as they go into Juniors and decide that a "disco" in a hall is not cool enough any more. 

   Age 10 - I am now the proud owner of a 10 year old and despite saying (for years) that she was too old to have a birthday party, this year she chose to take a (large) group of friends on Skytrail, which is essentially an adventure playgroup suspended in the sky! Apparently they turn into adrenalin junkies when they reach double digits.

   

   

   Age 13 - This is the age of hormones and teen angst. Whatever they want to do at this age will probably end in tears but you can try a pamper party (for the girls anyway).

   Age 16 - Celebrating being 16 is the new 18. My god daughter is already planning her sweet sixteen party and she wants chocolate fountains and a limo. This seems to be an American thing that is now crossing the pond but thankfully they no longer want party bags at this age!

   Age 18 - Most 18 year old's can't wait to have a "legal" drink in a pub and with a lot of function rooms being reluctant to hold 18th birthday parties for fear of serving those who are still underage, they usually decide to go into the nearest town for pubs and clubs with their official I.D.

   Age 21 - My Nan would always sing, "You've got the key to the door, never been 21 before" and it is the age where you are seen as an adult. No more children's parties, no more party bags and very often now, you have the key to your own door. So maybe it is house party time?

   And thereafter?

   I still celebrate my birthday every year, whether it is drinks with friends, a BBQ at the house or a meal out. I *may* be 40 in a couple of years time and that is as good a reason as any for having a party in my book.

   So what age is too old for a birthday party?

   Never I say! You are never too old for a party in my book.

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4. The Big 5 Meme – Life lessons you want your kids to learn

   Posted on 9:33am Tuesday 28th Apr 2015

   I read a blog post a little while back by Mummy From the Heart about "Life lessons you want your kids to learn" and I knew I wanted to write a similar post for my girls. I am a huge believer in the fact that life will give you what you can handle and whilst it may sound like I am channelling the universe, I also know that I need to lead by example with my daughters.

   I think we forget sometimes that the role models our children see are not necessarily the famous pop stars or reality tv "stars", they copy and emulate us from such a young age that it is so important to be conscious of our own actions. I want to nuture my girls personalities and encourage their quirky ways and specific talents but there are some basic things I think they should learn.

   1. Learn to be present and always look people in the eye when you’re talking to them. 
   

   In an age where technology is part of our every day life, it is easy to forget to be fully present in dinner table conversations whilst instagramming your food, take part in discussions and time with your family. Make sure you take time to put the technology down and look the person in the eye who is talking to you. Give people your full and un-divided attention. Do not spend your entire time seeking stimulation on a phone screen and learn to make real human connections.

    

   2. It’s not the quantity of friends that matter. It’s the quality. 

   You do not need anyone's approval and no matter what the other girls or boys say at school, be comfortable in your own skin and you will find that your true friends will filter through. It is better to count your real friends on one hand, than have a handful of so called mates who wouldn't be there if you needed them at 2am.

   3. When it comes to relationships, don’t settle. 

   This goes for friendships and romantic relationships. Don't settle for anyone that doesn't make you feel special, loved and important. (If they can make you laugh, this is a big bonus too).

   4. Money does not equal happiness

   I *may* have pinched this one from Mummy From The Heart but it it such an important lesson for the girls to learn. You do not need money to be happy, it can help buy a bigger house, more clothes or a nice car but those are not the things that will make you happy. Happiness is not a destination, it is what you create from life along the way, regardless of whether you have one pound or one million pounds.

   5. Rules are made to be broken. Except mine.

   Challenge the norm. Question everything. Except me.

    

   I really did love this linky and I want to play it forward. The rules of this meme are simple, blog about your big 5 life lessons and link back to this post so people can follow the train of the meme. Tag 3-5 other bloggers to complete the meme and let them know about the tag. Of course it is always good form to go and comment on those other blogs too. 

   I am tagging Emma from Mummys Savvy Savings, Jayne from Mums The Word and Marianne from Mari''s World.

   

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