Category: Sleep

1. Five things only parents will understand

   Posted on 2:07pm Wednesday 2nd Jul 2014

   Raising a child is hard work! ....... This may be the undestatement of the year.

   From getting to grips with the demanding routine of a newborn baby, to finding enough time to clean the home, earn a living and keep the children entertained and getting to school on time each morning, there are many challenges which you’ll face.

   Obviously, the end results are more than reward enough though and there are very few parents who’d give up the sleepless nights and parental conflicts if it meant they didn’t have their bundles of joy with them anymore.

   For those approaching parenthood - or already lucky enough to be in it - here are five things that only those with kids will understand. Whether you read this list alone or joking about it with your parents when visiting them at a McCarthy and Stone retirement home, we’re sure you’ll find plenty of things to relate to.

   1. Sleep doesn’t stop, it changes forever

   Sleepless nights are a common discussion topic for any prospective or current parent but the idea that you’ll ‘never sleep again’ isn’t entirely accurate. The truth is that while there will be a few sleepless nights to contend with, the rest of your evenings will be spent sleeping in a very different way.

   

   Forget putting your head down and instantly falling into a deep slumber – once you’re a parent you’ll only ever doze lightly when turning in for the night. All of your senses will be pricked to detect the slightest disturbance or movement and this is something which will stay with you no matter how old your children get. Waking in the night when they are babies, to waiting up for them to get in when they are teenagers ..... I worry that I may never sleep properly again!!

   2. Everyone thinks they know better – even those without kids

   I have seen so many new parents may look for guidance from parents or friends but that doesn’t mean they want to be bombarded with every parenting opinion in circulation. Unfortunately, almost everyone has an idea of what “perfect parenting” consists of – and they won’t be shy about voicing it to you.

   Even those without kids think they could do it better and new parents will have to learn a whole new level of restraint and patience when dealing with what can often come across as misguided and even condescending attitudes. Do. Not. Listen. Just find what works for you and your family.

   3. Your definition of ‘gross’ will change radically

   Always insisted on keeping a pristine house without an item out of place? Considered burps as vulgar and disgusting? Expect all of these sentiments to change when you have kids! Every parent must deal with their fair share of bodily functions – from nappy changing to sickness, you’ll have no time to think something is ‘gross’ when looking after a little one.

   From rubbing all sorts of liquids and foods into their hair and faces, to running round the house like a whirlwind and upsetting your usual tidiness, you’ll need to reconsider your definition of ‘gross’ if you’re to survive! Trust me, I know.

   4. Schoolwork is harder than you remember

   Packing the kids off to school can seem like a relief for parents – until they bring you their homework that is! Most kids will need a little help and guidance from time to time and this puts a lot of pressure on parents who may have been out of education and the working world for some time.

   Schoolwork will almost certainly be harder than you remember – research by The Open University Business School found 70% of adults couldn’t answer mock GCSE finance questions correctly and this will present numerous challenges for both you and your child. Only this weekend I was doing "mental maths" with my 9 year old and there were certainly some questions that made me have to think!

   5. Everything you do is ‘embarrassing’

   Finally, expect your kids to view every action, comment and move you make as ‘embarrassing’. For most parents, turning their children red-faced seems to be a natural talent and the phrase “you’re so embarrassing” is one you should become familiar with.

   Don’t take it personally though – all parents are in the same boat and sometimes, just sometimes it is good to get them back for those "gross" moments! (but I didn't say that!)

   This post is in collaboration with McCarthy and Stone but all none sleeping children are our own!

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2. How do you deal with a sleepwalking child?

   Posted on 7:45am Thursday 17th Apr 2014

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   My eldest daughter is a sleep walker. It took me a long time to actually realise that she was sleep walking and not just getting up in the night and gibbering nonesense. 

   I am a very matter of fact kind of mom but sleepwalking, despite being quite a common problem, still unnerves me a little. I was amazed to learn that up to 30% of children will sleepwalk at some point. Although the behaviour is more common in children, the number of adults affected is higher than previously thought (I suspect my other half would like the opportunity to sleep deeply enough to even contemplate sleep walking.)

   Sleep is a big topic in our house, whether it be the lack of it or my snoring or the sleepwalking children, sleep should be about resting your head on the pillow and hopefully waking up in the same place 8 hours or so later shouldn't it? Not in our house! We have had:

   • Running down the stairs

   • Wandering around on the landing

   • Random conversations about putting bread in the bath

   • Finding her sleeping curled up at the end of our bed

   • Opening doors in the middle of the night

   Most of the time she has her eyes open, which was a little disturbing to start with but now I am used to it. Having researched it, the NHS website says that the most common triggers are:

   • sleep deprivation

   • fatigue (extreme tiredness)

   • stress and anxiety

   • fever 

   • drinking too much alcohol

   • taking recreational drugs 

   • certain types of medication

   • being startled by a sudden noise or touch and waking from deep sleep, or waking from deep sleep to go to the toilet 

   I can assure you that the 8yo has not been in the drinks cabinet and has no access to recreational drugs but I do notice she sleepwalks more when she is especially tired.

   So how do you deal with a sleep walking child?

   

   I was always told never to wake a person who sleep walks ( I remember my best friend when we were younger, getting up in the middle of the night and standing on the alarm sensor, waking everyone else up .... except her!). I have learnt that trying to have a conversation is pointless and trying to decipher what she is saying is even more futile, so I just take her by the hand and lead her back to bed.

   I have always worried that sleep walking was as a result of her feeling unsettled but after reading so much about it, I find that it usually happens when they are in a deep sleep, so whilst she is waking everyone else up with her antics, at least she is in a deep asleep.

   Hopefully she will grow out of it as she gets older, although they do say it can run in the family so maybe one day her own children will do the same and she will know how perplexing it is.

3. A child's room is so much more than a place to sleep

   Posted on 9:51pm Wednesday 9th Apr 2014

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   I love to sleep. As a mum to two girls, I never seem to get enough sleep, I never want to get out of my bed in the morning from the room that is my haven but a child’s room is so much more than a place to sleep. Far more than for most grown-ups, it’s a place they spend a lot of their waking hours, telling stories, creating adventures, building dens and having fun.

   So what do you do when you decide it needs redecorting? You have to think about the times they’re going to play, read, draw and colour in there and as they get older, it’s bound to be where they’ll do a lot of their homework too. (I am clearly living in hope that the challenge of physically getting them to do their homework is not too much of a mission)

   The secret interior designer (or just the sleepy mum) that is trapped inside me thinks that the key piece of furniture in a child’s bedroom is the bed, and that’s the best place to start when you’re planning out how to furnish and decorate your child’s room. Children’s beds today come in a massive range of styles and sizes and the one you’ll choose will depend on the size of the room and how old your child is. Great companies like GLTC have a fabulous range of children's beds and mattresses from GLTC and this is a good first stop resource for families like us. 

   I love the idea of a cabin bed, as it can be a great space-saver choice and the underneath can either be used as a desk, or as storage space for clothes. Some cabin beds have tent style play areas below them too, although I am not sure there would be much sleeping going on with my daughters in this kind of bed. 

   Children’s bedroom furniture can be expensive, so it may be worth considering choosing a timeless classic style for the furniture, and then giving the room a fresh look with new accessories every couple of years – when your child’s tastes change. It’s far easier and more economical to change curtains, bed linen and rugs than replacing all the furniture with a new set. It might not be the most exciting but I have always gone for neutral colours like cream or white and accessorised around them.

   

   Space and storage is always an issue for parents, for us, the litte one needs lots of floor space to play, and we have storage chests for her toys, whereas the older one prefer less floor space (to hopefully create less clutter) and has a wall unit with all her essentials in.

   i made the mistake of letting the eldest daughter choose her bedroom colour and she went for "sexy pink" (I kid you not) so guiding them towards a theme will help to give their bedroom a coordinated look and it could be inspired by any of their interests. There are some perennially popular themes, such as pirates, fairies or woodland creatures for younger kids, and bright, bold colours for older children. It really depends what your kids like – and what you like too, of course. Don’t feel that you have to achieve a new-look room all in one go – in fact, in a way, it’s nice for them to build on their room’s theme by asking for accessories for Christmas or birthday presents.

   So their bedroom maybe a design project for me but for the girls, it is so much more than that, it is a place that memories are created, tears will be shed, laughter will seep through the walls and friends will be made and lost. I always want everything to be perfect for them and you just live in hope that they’ll love the fact that it’s been done especially for them, and maybe they’ll keep it tidy as a way of saying thank you!

   Oh, well, we can all have dreams can't we?! 

    

4. New Year, New Sleeping Habits??

   Posted on 11:59am Friday 10th Jan 2014

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   I am saying this in very hushed tones but do you remember those sleeping problems we might have mentioned once or twice last year? Well *whispers* we "may" have cracked it!

   I vaguely remember a time when people would look at the little one and say "she is always sleeping" and I would smile that smug new mom smile.

    

   But then that gorgeous little baby decided that sleep was for the weak.

   We have looked at behaviour, routine, "training" (I don't like that word), more sleep, no sleep but ultimately comfort is what won the day. It was beginning to drive me a little insane, the constant waking in the middle of the night and the regular "third" person in our bed, wanting snuggles from Mommy or lying across Daddy like she did when she was little.

   

   I am not adverse to co-sleeping but I am not a massive fan of sleeping with a child that resembles a star fish! She has a tendancy to push her arms and legs out to the furthest point possible which was clearly waking her in her cot so she would come into our cozy bed with its memory foam mattress. Ridiculous as it sounds, she clearly wanted a bed with no sides. 

   So she has a bed, a quilt and a pillow and guess what? We have a happy sleeping toddler! I have always loved my bed and I hope that she will too, especially when I have shown her beds fit for a princess!

   

   As for those who use the term "sleep like a baby", I am quite convinced they have never actually had one!

    

   Disclaimer : This post was brought to you in association with Carpetright, who I was surprised to learn do much more than carpets! All thoughts and non sleeping toddlers are our own.